Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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