exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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