I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
