Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
