Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize