I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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