bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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