I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
