She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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