My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
