Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
