girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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