So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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