I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
