I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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