I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
