It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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