The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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