I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
