Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
