This girl is more easily done than said...
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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