Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
