I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
well you can't waste a boner
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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