And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
