What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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