Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
