I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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