i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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