apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Randomize
