I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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