1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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