But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
