You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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