I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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