it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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