I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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