Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I just want to make out with him forever
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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