I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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