Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
