It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
