this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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