I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I'm passing your future prison.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
