I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
