Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
