Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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