you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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