I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
