ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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