My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
