guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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