Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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