Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
organizing the empties. That sober.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize
