I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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