He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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