I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
