Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
