I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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