Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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