Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize