he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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