I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
