I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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