There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
