He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
