i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize