Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
