Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
