I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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